III . XII . MMXXV

it's been a while since i've felt so inspired to work on my website. it's really nice :) i missed doing this sort of thing. thank you to my psychiatrist for real, this med adjustment has been great. now let's hope RFK and the orange goon don't take these away from me....

III . XIII . MMXXV

therapist said i seemed to be doing a lot better today, and also seemed pretty relieved my psych was actually doing what she should and adjusting meds. it feels good to feel good, it's been so long since i've done anything productive. but just in this past week, i've rebuilt a site and added quite a bit to it! along with this, i went on a walk yesterday, and stopped at some cafes. it's been nice going out. i used to be too afraid to, i don't really like going places alone, but until i have some irl friends, well, guess i should get used to it!

III . XV . MMXXV

work yesterday was fine, nothing really special. will admit i am not looking forward to the upcoming full staff meeting at all. i really do not wanna drive at 8 in the morning to go to a meeting that'll last like 30 minutes. beyond that, i have decided my next media to start will be girls' last tour. after that, i'll probably continue reading the manga i had started earlier, shimeji simulation. it has been really nice to be in a mood that i can start new things and work on projects. i haven't had this drive in several months, so i have definitely missed it. i am doing my best to not overextend myself though, i really don't want to crash hard after feeling so nice.

III . XXIV . MMXXV

work will never not confuse me with schedules. one week i'll have 3-4 days, the next i'll have 1. and we are still continuing to hire new people? i know summer is coming soon which means more business but don't hire people if you can't assure stable hours for your other workers. the only day i have specifically requested off is thursdays, so there's no reason for me to not be getting anything. i dunno. all i hope is that there's a message sent out or something about the employee meeting if it's planned for this week, as i only go in sunday so i will not know it's happening beforehand otherwise. well, since i have a free week this week, might as well make progress on my current book and manga. maybe play a couple of games here and there, maybe look into a new anime to start. might as well enjoy my free time if i have to have it. i should also clean my room.... we shall see what i end up doing

IV . XII . MMXXV

life is so hectic and busy, but also boring and monotonous. it's really getting to me i have no friends to hang out with, even though i've done my best to get involved in local areas trying to meet people. i've even tried friend making apps. it's probably for the best, i don't have money to spare and hanging out is pretty expensive anymore, but it would be nice to have someone to hang out with that isn't my family or my coworkers. i am very grateful for my online friends, but activities online sadly cannot fill the void i have for enjoyment in person. i want to go to the zoo with people, i wanna have a bonfire and movie marathon, i wanna just have a good time with people. one day i should find my people, hopefully, but trying so hard and making minimal progress takes a huge toll on one's brain.

V . VIII . MMXXV

since last update i have celebrated my birthday! it was a pretty good one, my boyfriend got me schedule one and we played that for a while. i also went to a local sushi place and got all you can eat sushi, though i did get embarrassed by them putting happy birthday on over the music speakers. had a tiramisu cake that made me realize i want to try the real thing one day. i've also been talking to someone new i met on bumble to be a potential friend, they seem super nice and i've enjoyed chatting with them sporadically here and there. overall a much better time than last year, even if i was stressed about money. glad that this year is looking up a little (hopefully), even as things grow bleaker on a political front