starting up
03.12.2025
not sure how often i'll be posting blogs, but i wanted a place to store them nonetheless. blogs will be for longer writings with a more focused topic, whilst my journal will be more of an idle day to day chit chat. i already have a few topics in mind, so stay tuned if you're interested! even if you aren't, doesn't stop me from wanting to yap!
opinions on fiction and censorship
03.12.2025
i've gone through many stances on fiction throughout the years. from not caring as a kid, to developing moral OCD as a teenager/young adult, and now again, at nearly 24, i do not care what individuals do with fiction. what i do care about, however, is defending the right to all fiction being allowed to exist, even stuff that may personally disgust/revolt me. in the US especially, but not only, fascistic rhetoric is on the rise. with this, we have also seen the rise of "antis" in fandom culture. they pose themselves as a moral authority, deeming media unsuitable if it explores topics they dislike. this is scary, especially as a queer person. the freaks who post on Ao3 and you are viewed in the same lens if you're queer, anti. we're all degenerates to them. instead of attacking your fellow man, maybe go after the real abusive people? you cannot control what other people make and consume when it comes to fiction. what you can do is instead block people who post stuff you don't wish to see, and understand that a lot of the immediate repulsion to exploring taboo topics stems from fascism. embracing these topics and approaching them neutrally will be the only way we can make meaningful societal progress on them. shutting down all conversations and allegories about these topics will just further harm people and make it impossible for victims to seek help. it drives me crazy that just for having these views, someone on twitter will find it acceptable to pedojacket. antis really do not like when you point out they're being fascistic, because how could a marginalized victim ever perpetuate an ideology that they disagree with? unfortunately, fascist rhetoric is so ingrained in society (especially USAmerican) that you likely don't recognize it as such. deeming topics "too harmful" to have open conversations and write fiction about is the same thing fascists do when they bookburn. just because a topic makes you uncomfortable doesn't mean it shouldn't ever be talked about. "and what about the people who explore these topics just for horny reasons and no deeper analysis?" well that's what they can do, if we believe in the right to free speech. i don't have to like it, but i can just ignore it. not everything needs to say something and some people like being horny. what do i care? if no real human being is being harmed, why the fuck should i care?
life being disabled and queer in a conservative area
03.17.2025
i'm sure you can gleam from the title the TL:DR of this is going to be "it sucks". but how exactly does it suck? well, that's what i am using this blog for. for one, i am terrified of being able to keep my coverage. it keeps going up in the air and without my meds i will be dysfunctional and unable to do what i currently do. it also doesn't help that RFK has suggested banning antidepressants in favor of "wellness camps". i am lucky in that i am able to keep stable employment whilst being disabled (though again, highly dependent on meds), and so many people can't and are at risk of losing their care and accomodations. on top of this, my ability to transition is being attacked. every day i have to wonder what culture war bullshit the republicans are gonna pull and make my life harder. due to being disabled, reliant on state healthcare, and being poor, i cannot flee to a state where i'd be safer. i have no connections really in any safe states that are attainable and i wouldn't be putting a shitload of financial burden onto someone. it is so tiring to see time and time again other queer people telling people in situations like mine to "just move" because it is not that easy. i cannot work to support myself. i cannot work enough to afford HRT if i were to go somewhere else, let alone work enough to own a place on my own. it is not better to be homeless and alive because i would be dead in a short amount of time anyways. unless you are willing to deal with my disabled ass personally and fund me personally, i don't want to hear that "move somewhere blue!" bullshit. i should not have to flee my home to deserve a chance at life. maybe you could use your safety in blue states to advocate for us trapped in red states, but i feel like that would be too much activism for the typical liberal who has these mindsets in the first place.